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Bushisms: Horribly worrisome, yet deeply amusing quotations from George W. Bush, Jr., the man otherwise known as the current president of the United States.

Compiled by and reprinted from Bush Cartoons

To the best of our knowledge, these are all real quotes. We also have not censored any quotes here, and there is profanity on this page. If profanity offends you, please scroll down to the bottom of this page!

“The dictator of Iraq is making his choice” —regarding the impending war with Iraq. February 6, 2003

“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.” —Grand Rapids, Michigan, January 29, 2003

“You’re back here with my people. You’re back here with the tequila drinkers, yeah. What you need is to go up there and make a little whoopee with the tequila drinkers, get to know them better.” —from Journeys With George by Alexandra Pelosi, debuted on HBO, November 5, 2002

“When I was coming up it was a dangerous world, and we knew exactly who the they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was.” —from Journeys With George by Alexandra Pelosi, debuted on HBO, November 5, 2002

“I can’t hear you because I can’t see.” —from Journeys With George by Alexandra Pelosi, debuted on HBO November 5, 2002

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, it’s probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on… shame on you. Fool me… You can’t get fooled again.” —the Baltimore Sun, October 6, 2002

“We need to understand if you let kindling build up and there’s a lightning strike, you’re going get yourself a big fire,” —in a lame attempt to make deforestation look like a way to stop forest fires, August 22, 2002

“I know in the fall of an election year, the tendency is to focus more on scoring political points than on making progress.” —after a golf game with Bush Sr. and just before going on a massive, multi-state, GOP fundraising campaign. Kennebunkport, Maine, August 3rd 2002

“Sometimes things aren’t exactly black and white when it comes to accounting procedures… I still haven’t figured it out completely.” —Bush when asked for details about his dealings with Harken Energy Corp., of which he was on the audit committee. G.W. Bush’s father was in office in 1990 when he sold his Harken stock and the SEC did not pursue a case. July 8th 2002

“Do you have blacks too?” Bush ignorantly asked Brazil’s President Fernando Henrique Cardoso. Rumor has it, Condoleeza Rice interrupted the president and explained in brief the African history in Brazil. —reported by the reputable German publication Der Spiegel.

“Washington is unfortunately the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature,” —responding to suggestions he had warnings of September 11th before the attacks. Washington DC, May 17th 2002

“After all, a week ago, there were—Yasser Arafat was boarded up in his building in Ramallah, a building full of, evidently, German peace protestors and all kinds of people. They’re now out. He’s now free to show leadership, to lead the world.” —Washington DC, May 2nd 2002

“This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.” —New York Daily News, April 23rd 2002

“I’ve got a tool, and that’s called a veto” —regarding working with congress on the budget. —Washington Post,April 17th 2002

“And so, in my State of the—my State of the Union—or state—my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation—I asked Americans to give 4,000 years—4,000 hours over the next—the rest of your life—of service to America.” —April 9th 2002, reported by the San Francisco Gate (among others)

“I made up my mind that Saddam needs to go,” —to British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, April 5th 2002

“Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of ‘Hop on Pop’.” —speaking on educating children, April 2nd 2002

“There’s nothing more deep than recognizing Israel’s right to exist. That’s the most deep thought of all… I can’t think of anything more deep than that right.” —March 13th 2000, Washington, DC.

“I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region.” —March 13th 2000, Washington, DC.

“{waves hello}” —waves to the blind musician, Stevie Wonder, as reported by the Washington Post, March 6th, 2002

“It also makes sense for New York State to have a governor whose phone calls will be returned from the White House.” —February 2002, at a fundraiser for New York’s Republican governor, George Pataki.

“It’s an encroachment on the executive branch’s ability to conduct business,” —Regarding Enron, January 28th, 2002

“Mother, I should have listened to you. Always chew your pretzels before you swallow.” —January 14th 2002

“Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes!” —January 11th 2002

“This is not an instant gratification war” —November 2nd, 2001

“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan airport.” —October 3rd 2001 at Reagan International Airport in Washington, DC.

“When I take action, I’m not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It’s going to be decisive.” —September 19th, 2001

“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe—I believe what I believe is right.” —Rome, July 22, 2001

“It’s my honor to speak to you as the leader of your country. And the great thing about America is you don’t have to listen unless you want to.” —Speaking to recently sworn in immigrants on Ellis Island, July 10, 2001

“Well, it’s an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We’re blessed with such values in America. And I—it’s—I’m a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values.” —Visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, DC, July 2nd 2001

“We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.” —Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14th 2001

“I had no idea we had so many weapons… what do we need them for?” —stunned when told the extent of the US nuclear arsenal, Newsweek, June 25th 2001

“It’s amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency.” —speaking to Swedish Prime Minister Goran Perrson, unaware that a live television camera was still rolling, June 14th 2001

“If a person doesn’t have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.” —remarks to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute, Washington, DC, May 22, 2001

“For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.” —Philadelphia, May 14, 2001

“There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.” —Washington, DC, May 11th 2001

“It’s a school full of so-called at-risk children. It’s how we, unfortunately, label certain children. It means basically they can’t learn… It’s one of the best schools in Houston.” —speaking about KIPP Academy in Houston, Texas.

“Whatever it took to help Taiwan defend theirself.” —on how far we’d be willing to go to defend Taiwan, Good Morning America, April 25, 2001

“First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country.” —on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001

“I’ve coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.” —he meant to say “misunderestimated”

“They misunderestimated me.” —Bentonville, Arkansas, November 6th 2000

“I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” —Greater Nashua, New Hamphshire, Chamber of Commerce, January 27th 2000

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” —Saginaw, Michigan, September 29th 2000

“The great thing about America is everybody should vote.” —Austin, Texas, December 8th 2000

“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.” —Reuters, May 5th 2000

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” —Florence, South Carolina, January 11th 2000

“I understand small business growth. I was one.” —New York Daily News, February 19th 2000

“The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.” —Pella, Iowa, as quoted by The San Antonio Express-News, January 30th 2000

“It’s important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It’s not only life of babies, but it’s life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.” —Arlington Heights, Illinois, October 24th 2000

“I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can’t answer your question.” —Reynoldsburg, Ohio, October 4th 2000

“Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.” —Austin, Texas, December 20, 2000

“The senator [McCain] has got to understand if he’s going to have—he can’t have it both ways. He can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road.” —to reporters in Florence, South Carolina, February 17, 2000

“We ought to make the pie higher.” —South Carolina Republican Debate, February 15, 2000

“They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program.” —at a debate in St. Charles, Missouri, November 2, 2000

“It’s your money. You paid for it.” —LaCrosse, Wisconsin, October 18th 2000

“It’s not the governor’s role to decide who goes to heaven. I believe that God decides who goes to heaven, not George W. Bush.” —in the Houston Chronicle.

“There ought to be limits to freedom. We’re aware of this [web] site, and this guy is just a garbage man, that’s all he is.” —discussing a web site that parodies him (YIKES!)

“I’m a uniter not a divider. That means when it comes time to sew up your chest cavity, we use stitches as opposed to opening it up.” —on David Letterman, March 2, 2000. (the audience booed)

“I didn’t—I swear I didn’t—get into politics to feather my nest or feather my friends’ nests.” —the Houston Chronicle

“You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We’re not going to forget this.” —to writer and editor Al Hunt, in front of his wife and kids, 1988

“As you know, we don’t have relationships with Iran. I mean, that’s—ever since the late ’70s, we have no contacts with them, and we’ve totally sanctioned them. In other words, there’s no sanctions—you can’t—we’re out of sanctions.

“I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can’t answer your question.” —In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate, 10/04/2000 Reynoldsburg, OH

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